This life lesson is extremely important for everyone. First of all I want to tell you a little about myself so you can better understand why I am passionate about positivity.
I have experienced many things in my life, some good and some bad. A little of my history goes a long way. In my life I have dealt with depression as I am Bipolar. I have struggled with it since about the age of 13 after I was raped. Since then many things have happened which include losing many family members my Dad being one of them, which I was very close to. Some of these deaths were extremely hard to handle where others were expected.
I grew up in a home with both parents. They fought pretty often. It was rough at times because they would go days without speaking to each other and they didn’t even sleep in the same bed. I think it was partially due to dad’s snoring and partially from the contempt for one another.
My depression was extremely bad throughout my teen years. So bad that I even attempted suicide more than once. Obviously I failed because I am here today. As I write this I am struggling. It is very hard to talk about my past.
I am now married and have been for 13 wonderful years. My husband is my primary support system. June 2017 I hit another hiccup in life. I suffered a back injury while at work. Life has been very hard since this happened. I actually just had a lumbar fusion with a bone graft and a discectomy June 1st, 2018.
First the accident changed my life and it felt like everything I had worked for was taken from me. I ended up quitting my job and losing my livelihood. I was not allowed to lift over 10 pounds per doctor’s orders. Th3w injury completely changed my life. This makes you more dependent on everyone. So needless to say I rely on my husband for many things.
After the surgery this has become even more strenuous. I’m not allowed to lift anything over a gallon of milk which is approximately eight pounds. I also cannot do anything without wearing a brace that restricts me from bending and twisting. I’m having to relearn how to do everything.
With all of this happening I started seeing a psychologist and a counselor to help deal with all of this. Life is very hard to handle at times. I find myself getting extremely frustrating because I am so dependent. Therefore I now received the diagnosis that I have PTSD.
The PTSD is not only from the back injury but also spurs from the past. For example, losing my Dad and getting raped added to this. It’s not like it just came on overnight. It is a summation of having a tumultuous life.
I still have a beautiful and fulfilling life. My smile many times is due to these amazing babies that I have. When life gets me down I can always love on the kitties and dogs and it instantly makes me feel better.
Thoughts On Life
I do not regret my life and as it is currently. I refuse to give in to the depression that could swallow me whole. Instead I am choosing to stay positive. I am not saying that I dont get blue at times. It’s all in how you handle situations that are hard.
You determine your reaction. All you need to take away from this post is this: Don’t let life beat you down. You can always find the positive in every situation.You can always smile. You can always persevere.
Always take life one day at a time. Know that you are loved dearly, even when it doesn’t feel like it. When you are down, fake it until you make it. Put on a smile and it might just turn into a real one. Try to see the positive in every situation. What I always say when something doesnt go the way I feel it should is “oh well, something better is meant to come.” And guess what. It always does.
You determine your happiness. Don’t let your environment or situations out of your control determine how you feel. Take it all in and find the positive.
What do you do to keep your depression at bay? What is your life motto? Do you choose positivity or are you a negative Nelly? Tell me what you think.
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